parental help ticket

so, i am constantly calling my parents for basically anything and everything. you name it. here are a few recent help tickets off the top of my head....

Mom:
"well how do i put the duvet cover back on the easy way?"
"how do i mince garlic?"
"alright, how do i cook that?" ("that" meaning just about anything)
"where can i find white wedges like right now?"

Phil:
"what do i need to kill aunts?"
"what does it mean if my computer screen just went blue?"
"how do i get skuffs off of leather shoes?"
"how do i cook...(fill in the blank)"
"mother's day ideas?"

Dad:
"dad, why is my key not coming out of the ignition?"
"there's some pole thing underneath my car thats connected to this other thing."
(dad's response: "kylie, a pole is not a car part" haha!)

what would i do without them?!